Can't Sleep
by TheyDidn'tHaveMyName
Summary: Title says it all. It's 4am and Jack can't sleep. Ianto's not impressed though. Janto, obviously, but the ratings for teeny bit of swearing.


Disclaimer: I own none of the following… Torchwood, Jack, Ianto, Starbucks, the Smurfs or Top Gear. This has probably been done quite a few times, so I apologise. But you know what those damn plot bunnies are like…

Pairing: Janto!

Spoilers: None, cos this is just pointless fluff.

* * *

_I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, got that meeting with the mayor. Lots of paperwork… what was it Ianto said about the colour of the files?_

"Ianto?"

_Damn, he's asleep. Erm… oh, never mind. I don't want to think about that anyway._

_Hmmm…_

_I should probably sleep too. Can't believe Gwen still thinks I don't sleep, that girl is way too gullible for her own good. I mean her face today when she finally worked out that Owen was kidding about the Smurfs being aliens._

_How can it be 4 am. That means I've been lying here not sleeping for about three hours! Is that possible?_

_I'm not going to sleep…_

_I'll count sheep._

_1, 2, 3, 4- oh fuck it!_

"Ianto"

"Nurgh-ungh"

"What?"

"Go away… sleeping"

"Oh. It's just I can't sleep… Ianto?… Ianto?"

_Aw crap, he's asleep again. What do I do now? I wonder what sheep count when they want to get to sleep? Grass maybe? No that's stupid, how would you count grass?_

_Gah I'm bored! I hate it when this kinda thing happens. After nearly 150 years, you'd think I'd be used to a few sleepless nights. Well, not sleepless in that sense, although there's been quite a few of them recently. He's beautiful when he's sleeping…_

_Ooops, that's a dangerous direction for my thoughts to take…_

_I hate this! I'm so bored!_

"Grrr"

"Wha Jach?"

_Aww, he's so sleepy, oh erm, crap I woke him up!_

"Sorry Yan, just taking out my frustrations cos I can't sleep"

"Can ya not bite the pillows Jack? Please?"

"I'll try. No promises though"

"Okay. I'm going back to sleep now… can I trust you?"

"Yan, I'm not six"

"Mmm, whatever"

_He's snoring again. How does he do that? Instantaneously asleep, incredible. Rubbish superpower though. It's not really snoring though. More sort of sighing. He sounds kinda happy. Contented._

_I might go watch some TV, that'll bore me enough to want to go to sleep. There's bound to be some kinda movie on or something…_

_God Ianto's flat's cold. No wait, _our_ flat's cold. Gotta remember that._

_News, boring. Music channel, boring. Quiz programme, boring. Oooh Top Gear… I wonder who the Stig is… bet he's an alien! I'll get Tosh to look into it._

_Aw crap, now I'm even more awake._

_This isn't working, I'm going back to bed._

_Mmm, Ianto's much warmer than the sitting room._

"Gah what the hell is that! Jack what the hell is in the bed?"

"Huh? It's just me"

"Jesus Jack, what've you been doing living with a polar bear?"

"Um… yeah, he's called George, I think you'd like him. He has a great taste in music, although his culinary skills aren't quite-"

"Am I dreaming?"

"Why?"

"Because you're talking more rubbish than normal"

"Love you too Yan"

"Hmmm, just go to sleep Jack. You've got all that paperwork to do tomorrow"

"Yeah about that-"

_He's asleep again! That's not fair!_

_I am quite cold though, maybe that's it… If I just try to move a bit. Just move the quilt a little bit. Roll over a little. Oooh, that gives me an idea_

"Jack what the hell are you doing?"

"How mad would'ya be if I said I'm trying to make myself into a butterfly?"

"I'm gonna say pretty mad. Can I get some of the quilt back?"

"Yeah. Sorry"

"S'fine. Just lemme sleep"

_I better be quiet for a while. We're gonna need to get up in a few hours anyway. I'm an idiot. He needs sleep more than I do._

_Hmmm…_

_Do you think it's possible to die from sleep deprivation?_

_Erm…_

_I'll google it later._

_I must have been quiet for ages. Erm, oh. Ok so 20 minutes. That's ages right?_

_Stuff it. I'll let him home early today._

"Ianto… Ianto… okay now I feel kinda stupid"

"You sound kinda stupid"

His voice sounds funny, he must be talking into the pillow.

"Sorry. Can't sleep"

"Really Jack? I didn't realise that!"

"Are you mad?"

"…"

"Yan?"

_Why's he put his feet on my stomach? Oooh they're nice and warm, what's he doing?_

THUNK

"Ouch"

"You're welcome Jack. Go get something to eat or something. Lemme sleep"

"All right, calm down"

_Can't believe he just kicked me out the bed. Literally. That wasn't nice. Was I being that bad?_

_He's probably right though. He always is. Stupid, pretty, know-it-all Welshman._

_I'll get something to eat. I might as well just have breakfast, there's no point going back to bed for an hour or so's non-sleep. I'll have some coffee then._

_Oh dear._

_That means I'll need to work the coffee machine…_

_If I touch the machine, Ianto will kill me. _

_If I wake Ianto, he'll kill me._

_Does Starbucks open at six in the morning?_

_Oh stuff it. I'm not going to Starbucks. Not when the man who makes the best coffee in the Universe is in the next room. I will not be forced out of my own home because he's asleep._

"Ianto"

"What!"

_Uh Oh!_

"Never mind"

"…"

"Sorry I woke you up. Again"

_He's staring at the ceiling, his arms folded behind his head. Does he look angry? I can't tell from this angle._

"You can't work the coffee machine, can you?"

"Erm… no"

"Fine, I'll get you one"

"You don't have to"

"Well I'm clearly not going to get any sleep, so I might as well"

"Oh. Thanks"

"You're welcome"

_I really don't deserve him. He's too nice. _

_Mmmm warm bed._

_I can hear him now, messing around with that coffee machine. _

_Is that him, or the radio. If it's him he has a brilliant voice. Kinda husky. Moody._

_Oh. Maybe he's in a bad mood with me…_

_I hope not. I hate it when he's angry with me._

_Argh, so tired._

_And all those bloody files to erm, file later…_

TWTWTWTWTW

Ianto stumbled sleepily into the bedroom with two fresh steaming mugs of coffee, successfully managing to not spill a drop.

"Right Jack. If you've got me up then we're going-"

He rolled his eyes when he saw Jack curled up amongst the quilt, snoring lightly.

He groaned, "Bloody hyperactive, 51st century bundle of the most annoying creature ever created!"

"Huh?" muttered Jack sleepily from the bed.

Ianto glared at him icily, "Oh sorry Jack. I didn't mean to wake you up"

* * *

A/N: It's amazing how much of the stuff I write is inspired by my own life. Granted though, when this kinda thing happened to me I had neither a sexy Welshman, nor a gorgeous Captain to keep me company. Damn.

Reviews? And love you for reading!


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